Swee sweet Addi  / Kristin McGiffin (cousin)

addi

         i have thought about you all day today you were so beautiful baby girl.I was looking at pictures the other day and came across the one of you and Mackenzie at the trailor it made me sit and cryjust as I've done for the last 2 hrs looking at the letters and candles people have written on here.Your mom and dad are such strong people I couldn't imagine going on from day to day.You have touched so many hearts and souls in the time you were here honey.Keep looking after everybody that keeps us all going just knowing that your okay and that someday we will all get to see you again

                           love and miss you bunches

                                          Kristin

Kari

        you brady and morgan are in my thoughts every day I wish that I kept in touch more often but always remember if younse ever need anything I'm just a phone call away no matter what time it is

                                love younse

                                   Kristin

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Thinking about last year  / Aunt Amy
 Addi I keep thinking about last July. While you were fighting for your life I was at a baseball game with the kids from work. I remember lifestar flying over and I said to a coworker someone must be going to Pittsburgh .Little did I know that it was you and your dad.Had your uncle Bryer and I had known we would have dropped everything to go to you and your dad!At work they are going to another game this July. they have asked me if I'm going  with them this year .I don't think I will be able to because all I can think of is last year.It makes me feel horible that I was not there for you and the rest of the family while this was going on.I know it was not my fault I did not find out until 5:00 that day.I have had to also  learn not to be mad about not knowing what had happened.I still think of you everyday it seems to be harder on me with the anniversaryof your death.I will promise you that none of us will ever forget you! We miss you and love you! Close

HAPPY B-DAY MY ANGEL BABBY!  / MOMMY (MOTHER)

Today u are turning 2 and our hearts are  breaking that you can't be here w/ us.I keep thinking back to last yr. and how much fun we all had and now nothing here is the same w/out you.

We r still celebrating your b-day here at the house today,we r letting balloons go w/ our notes attached . Jack is releasing doves for us w/ a prayer service.There is gonna be alot people here for you today.You are such a special little girl and everyone want's to be part of this today.(which mommy is very thankful for)We all need the support of our family and god today.We also need you,so please continue to watch over us little one.It's gonna be almost a yr. since I've seen your beautiful,beatuiful face.

Daddy,Morgan and I planted a really nice memorial garden for you yesterday.It has alot of angels in it.Daddy made it in the shape of a horseshoe to show how lucky we were to have you.all the while we planted your garden we laughed about the memeories of how soo funny you were.YOU ALWAYS MADE US LAUGH!

Aunt Kimmie came here w/ me last night and we all lit fireworks for u.The same fireworks we were suppose to light the day you died.(instead we spent that day at hammot praying for your precious life)Aunt Kimmie was laughing and crying when we were remebering you dancing to Applebottom jeans.It soo hard for her to listen to that song to this day.

Well baby I know your up there celebrating  w/ jesus today.You r were we all hope to be  someday.I can't wait till we see again until then please watch over us because we all have hole in our hearts that won't be filled until we see you again.

HAPPY B-DAY WE LOVE AND MISS YOU SOO VERY MUCH!

 

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Always in our prayers!  / Jill Kulyk (family friend )

Your family has really been on my mind tonight! You have a powerful little angel up in heaven showering you all with love and prayers!  She is sending you strength and hope, were else would it come from! Our thoughts and prayers are always with you! We just love your little Morgan, what a strong and amazing little girl!

You are all in our bedtime prayers every night!

God bless you,

Jill Kulyk and family

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It's a new year  / Mommy

Addi,

Well it's a new year but none of the hurt has gone away.I'm missing you now more than ever!I sit here and cry and still wonder how this could have happend to you.The holidays come and go but everything is so different for our family.

Your sister

 has a bad cold in her chest so we are going to have to make a trip to the drs. today.This is going to be the first time we will be there since you passed.I still see you in that waiting room making friends w/ everyone (sick or not) You LOVED the fish tank and you would talk to them too.That's about all you said the whole time was "fishes" and point to them and tell me all about them. Mommy now knows what the'empty arms" term means because my arms are literally aching to hold you and smell you again.

I read a book on losing a child and one parent described it as"a stomache that never goes away" and they are right my stomache is constantly sick for you.I love you very much and please continue to look after our family in 09 mommy's gonna need some help through this awlful journey without my precious baby!I will be missing and loving you until we meet again!

I LOVE AND MISS YOU,

MOMMY

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This christmas will be so empty this year  / Mommy (mommy)

Addi,

Mommy is suppose to out  getting last min x-mas gifts and last last 2 days I haven't been able to get out of my pajamas.My heart is so heavy thinking of all the things you should be enjoying this yr.

Your sister brought home a white pine tree in your memory yesterday from her x-mas shoppingat school.Last yr. she brought you that puppy book that you loved so much.She has also written a letter to Santa Clause this yr. asking him to bring your toys to heaven this yr. She still feels like she has to look out for her "little sister"She misses you so much.Not a day goes by that she doesn't talk about you.

Daddy is doing a little bettter but he is still so sad.You can see the emptyness in his eyes.There is a big part of him missing.Life for us will never be the same again.He misses his Sunday mornings with you.He would lay on the floor and you would tackle him.You were such a little brut!

As for mommy...well I'm trying hard to be strong for everyone but it's so hard.I'm soo lonely without you durning the day when Morgan is at school and Daddy is at work.I miss our trips to the grocery store.I miss watching Sesame Street w/ you.I miss everything about you and I just want one of those opened mouth kisses you use to give so freely or one of those big bear hugs when you would wrap your arms around me as hard as you could and then end it with trying to bite my check.I sit in your room in the rocker and remember our nap time together so clearly.I would rock and sing to you until you got drowsy and you would talk to the flowers on your wall that daddy worked so hard to stencil on for you.You loved your room and now it seems so lifeless in there.

All our hearts are hurting so bad and there is nothing we can do about it .I think that is worst part,this pain is never gonna go away.The only comfort that I have is knowing that you are safe with Jesus and are probly doing alot better than all of us.When it is our time sweet angel I know you will be waiting for us  with those chubby little arms of yours wide open!We love and Miss you so very much.

 

 

                                  With all my love ,

 

                                   Mommy

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My heart hurts  / Lori Morris

My Addi,

  My heart hurts I miss you so much.I look at your picture on my desk and can't believe your not here.Im angry because I still can't understand why you were taken from us.You were such a beautiful baby and so innocent.I wish god would explain to me why and why so tragic?My heart breaks for your daddy and Kimi.Help them find comfort.Your mommy is such a strong person I'am so proud of her.

  I think of the beach and that nite you were sick and I was holding you out on the deck and we were swaying in the wind.You kept making those little noises moving your head from side to side.And that baby smell that everyone talks about that I never understood or could relate to,you had.You smelt so good I finnaly understood.I'am so thankful for the time that we spent together at the beach.You touched my heart like no one else ever has.I'am so blessed to have had you in my life.I love you and miss you every day.

Lori xoxo

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I had a dream  / Kimberly (aunt)

Addi,

I finally had a dream about you. It has been 4 and 1/2 months. I feel like sometimes it is getting worse for me and not better. I miss you so. The dream was very strange... You had been gone and then you were there alive and happy and you layed your little cheek on my shoulder like you used to do and I  ran, holding you and telling everyone that you were okay...then I woke up with my face wet with tears, feeling empty and sad and realizing that it was only a dream and your still gone.Mommy had a very similar dream that she has had more than once. She thinks that you are communicating through your dreams and telling us that you are okay. Your Mommy is very strong and she helps me alot. After a group grieving session we had gone to we laughed so much-all of us-Mommy, Daddy, Morgan and me and it felt so good since we had been crying throughout the session. It was great to let go and laugh like that and it felt like you were with us that night. Its so hard Addi. Holidays, everyday, it feels so wrong for the world to keep turning when your not here with us. We love you little one and know how much our hearts ache for you.

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Miss You  / DaDa
Hi, Pooky!  I miss you so much. I can still feel you tugging on my pant legs to be picked up, and I look down and you not there. I can still hear you saying "DaDa" in that sweet angel voice, and I turn around and your not there. I can still hear your voice waking up from your naps in your crib and I go to get you up, and your not there. I can still see you walking on your tiptoes on the beach, everyone who past would stop and watch you as you motored by tip toeing. Anybody who met you, even a passerby, would look at you and smile. You touched so many peoples lifes. You had so much to say, I just wish I knew what you were trying to say. Your momma hung up your Christmas stocking the other day. We all miss you and love you very much. There isn't a minute that goes by you are not thought of. I see so much of you in your sister, she really misses you too. I love you and miss you deeply, I'll talk to you soon. Love DaDa. Close

What Makes A Mother  / Sharon (Mom To Kallie Brackett) (passerby)
"What makes a Mother"
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a mother
And I know I heard him say,
A mother has a baby this we know is true.
But God, can you be a mother
When your daughter is not with you?
Yes, you can, He replied with confidence in His voice.
I gave many women babies, when they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime, and others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb, but there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this, God.
I want my Addison here. He took a breath and cleared His throat,
And then I saw a tear.
"We go to earth to learn our lessons of love and life and fear.

I wish I could show you what your child is doing today.

If you could see your child smile with other children

and say:
"My mommy loved me oh so much, I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mom who had so much love for me.
I learned my lesson very quickly and my mommy set me free."

"I miss my mom oh so much but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep at night, on her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair, kiss her cheek, and whisper in her ear,
"Mommy don't be sad today, it's me Addison, and I'm here."

So you see, my dear sweet one, your child is ok.
Your daughter is here in My home and this is where she'll stay.
She'll wait for you with Me until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home, She'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother, it's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of, right from the very start.
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Missing you!  / Aunt Kimi

Addi,

It has been quite sometime since I have been on your site. It hurts so much to see how much everyone misses you and loves you so. I admit I have been in denial again. I try really hard not to think about you - I try to push all thoughts away but they keep finding me and torturing me. Your funny bunny teeth and soft sweet hair-yes, your teeth were even cute when they were trying to bite...Oh Addi. It's not like I want to forget you-that's impossible but it hurts so much to remember.I just want you back. One of my fondest memories is of you in your little yellow star pajamas with your big diaper booty eating cheese it  crumbs from off the floor when we were in Myrtle Beach. You loved to eat and you were so happy. You made us so happy. I also want to apologize for laughing at you when you fell in between my bed and the wall. I know you were scared and I shouldnt have laughed. It wasnt nice. My heart hurts so bad. I hurt for your Mommy and Daddy and big sister too. Keep sending mommy signs. It makes her feel better. Hopefully one day I will get a sign or dream about you. I would love that. I will be thinking of you always and loving you every minute baby.

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Stars / Aunt Kimi

In one of the stars

I shall be living

In one of them

I shall be laughing

And so it will be

As if all the stars

were laughing

when you look

at the sky at night.

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Tears for Addi  / Aunt Kimi (Aunt)
Somedays I ask myself"did this  really happen?" It seems like a lifetime ago yet only yesterday. Autumn is here, Mommy and my favorite time of the year. This year is a little difficult -alot difficult. We should all be going to the pumpkin farm and discussing what costume would look the cutest on you not how much we miss you and long to hold you. So much has changed. Everyday is hard. At some point during the day I find myself slammed by a memory of you. I want to fall to my knees and scream. I did not know it was possible to hurt this bad. My God , I pray everyday for your mommy and daddy and sister to get through this. We all put on a brave face but  inside of us is a pain so horrible that I pray noone else will ever have to endure. Losing you was a tragedy of unmentionable agony. I know you are in a better place where there is no pain and only peace. I pray that our family finds the strength to find peace here on earth until we can be reunited again with you someday. We love you so much Addi. Not one day goes by that we dont talk about you. We are surrounded by your memory always. Watch over your family little one.We need you so much right now-stay close AND always know how much you are loved and missed. Close

For Brady  / Kimberly Mulligan (Aunt)

It must be very difficult

To be a man in grief

Since "men don't cry" and "men are strong"

no tears can bring relief

It must be very difficult

to stand up to the test

and friends calls and visitors

so she can get some rest

They always ask if she's all right

and what she's going through

But seldom take his hand and ask

My friend, but how are you?

He hears her crying in the night

and thinks his heart will break

He dries her tears and comforts her

but stays strong for her sake.

It must be very difficult

to start each day anew

and try to be so very strong

He lost his baby too.

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Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you!  / Jill And Nick Kulyk (no relation )

I lit a candle for you and your family today! You do not know me but our girls go to school together. As a mother I can't imagine what you are all going through.  Their has not been a day since this happened that we don't pray for you and your precious little angel in heaven! God Bless all of you.

Love,

The Kulyk/Allen Family

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My Mommy is a Survivor  / Anonymous (friend of family )
My Mommy Is A Survivor

My Mommy is a survivor,
or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night
when all others are in bed.

I watch her lay awake at night
and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her
to help her understand.

But like the sands on the beach
that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mommy,
who thinks of me each day.

She wears a smile for others...
a smile of disguise!
But through Heaven's door I see
tears flowing from her eyes.

My mommy tries to cope with death
to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows
it is her way to survive. mommy
through Heaven's open door...
I try to tell her that angels
protect me forevermore.

I know that doesn't help her...
or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...
and show her that you care.

For no matter what she says...
no matter what she feels.
My surviving mommy has a broken heart
that time won't ever heal.
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all my love poem  / Ang (friend of aunt kimi )

i miss you now more than ever before But,I trust that God will open a door. And show me how to go on without you To give me some hope and comfort too.

For you were my life and I loved you so dear And it breaks my heart to not have you near. But, life goes on and i will too I just wish it wouldn't go on without you.

All My Love

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Addis poem  / Kimberly Mulligan (Aunt)

In the blink of an eye

our world was rearranged

Life as we knew it

would never be the same.

I will never forget the day

I recieved that call.

I heard everything said to me

yet nothing at all.

My worst fears were confirmed

as I walked in the hospital room.

My sister, my best friend and the impending doom.

"Why?" she kept asking

"What did I do so wrong?"

'If God lets her live, I promise I will be a better Mom."

All of our prayers, all of our pleas

all of our wishes but it wasnt meant to be.

Our little angel did not make it through.

I felt so helpless not knowing what to do.

The fear and pain reflected in everyones eyes.

The disbelief and shock

Why did our baby have to die?

Looking at my sister and watching her face

I began bargaining with God to let me

take Addis place

The pain was tremendous, my stomach felt sick

of all the terrible things in this world

why was our family the one God picked?

Its been one month and one week since that heartwrenching day

one month and one week since our angel flew away.

The love and pride I have for my family

has only grown stronger

but the healing and acceptance may take a little longer.

As we struggle to overcome our pain and grief,

shes watching over us in Heaven is our belief.

We miss her so much, our ballerina princess,

her wrap around your leg hugs and her eskimo kisses.

Not a day will go by without us seeing her sweet face.

There will never be another who could take her place.

Somedays its so hard to catch our breath.

Somedays we are consumed by Addis death.

She left us a rainbow and a heart cloud to show

that she will always be with us wherever we go.

A small white feather for Mommy

so soft and white

Addi placed it on her shoulder to prove

she watches over her everynight.

We love you sweet Addison

We will miss you always, so it seems,

Goodnight angel baby

Sleep tight and pleasant dreams-

until that day we can all be together

watch over us little one

You will be loved forever!

I love you angel baby,

 Aunt Kimi

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Bless you.  / Michelle R.
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Remembrance / Kimberly Mulligan (Aunt)

Remembrance is a golden chain

Death tries to break,

but all in vain.

To have ,to love , and then to part

is the greatest sorrow of ones heart.

The years may wipe out many things

but some they wipe out never.

Like memories of those happy  times

When we were all together!

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